Did That Just Happen?

Stop Harassment Now

Send The BeeMail

When harassment, discrimination or bullying first arise, the behavior usually starts small, appears “insignificant,” or is disguised. Many times the first few incidents are only the beginning of a longer abuse cycle. Just because it’s a small problem, doesn’t mean such behavior isn’t worth addressing.

There are some benefits to addressing a problem early: (a) you have more options for resolution, (b) it’s less risky for both you and your colleague, and (c) your colleague is notified that you do not readily accept such behavior.

Not everyone feels safe or comfortable speaking directly to their harasser or bully. And not everyone feels safe reporting to HR.

For those seeking an “out of the box” solution that lessens their risks and keeps control in their hands, The Wolf and The Bee created a new option: The BeeMail. The BeeMail is a diplmotic and discreet notification email sent to your colleague, on your behalf without mentioning your name. Additionally, The BeeMail provides your colleague with information and tools to help facilitate an accountability and resolution process.

The BeeMail Option

Sending The BeeMail isn’t the right option for every circumstance. But sending The BeeMail is an option if you can answer YES to the following circumstances and goals: 

IS SENDING THE BEEMAIL AN OPTION FOR YOU?
  • If you want to resolve the issue early, quickly and quietly
  • If you need to be able to continue working with this person in the future
  • If you don’t feel comfortable speaking directly to the person at this time
  • If you would feel comfortable receiving an apology from the recipient 
  • If you don’t want to go to your boss or HR right now
  • If there is a power imbalance between both parties
  • If you witnessed inappropriate behavior and want to be an ally without putting either party at risk

If you said YES to all of the above circumstances and goals, sending The BeeMail is an option to consider.

The Benefits and Risks

Sending The BeeMail has one big benefit: It disrupts the current dynamic between you and the other party. Because the notice is delivered by a third party (The Wolf and The Bee), it introduces a “witness” that notification was sent. The behavior is no longer hidden and can be addressed.

Benefits

  • Take back power and transfer the problem back to the offender.
  • Lower risk resolution option: Addressing the issue directly with your colleague first, you may save time, energy and money. 
  • If you must escalate to your supervisor or HR, sending The BeeMail positions you as a problem solver and not a problem – as you have tried all options to resolve the issue.
  • Unnamed source: The BeeMail does not include your name. It is direct, tactful, refers to general inappropriate behavior (not specifics), and provides the sender as much distance as possible. 
  • Control: You stay in control of the process while exploring options for resolution.
  • Documentation: You receive a receipt of the time and date The BeeMail was sent. If you need to escalate the issue you have documentation of communication.
  • Acknowledges the issue: Expose the inappropriate conduct to the light, so it can be recognized and addressed. 
  • Support for the recipient: Coaching tools and exercises are provided to the recipient on how to take accountability and create a resolution plan.  
  • Support for the sender: Coaching tools and exercises are provided to the sender.
  • Transparent Process: The process is outlined below.
  • Feel empowered – move from feeling powerless to empowered. Sending The BeeMail may start the process toward greater confidence to speak up for yourself and others.
THE BEEMAIL RISKS

When you are being harassed or discriminated against at work, the risks go up, whether you decide to address the issue or not. When sending The BeeMail, here are risks you need to consider:

  • Anonymity isn’t guaranteed: While The BeeMail does not reference your name or specifics, and only refers to general inappropriate behaviors, your work and company circumstances may reveal that you are the source of The BeeMail.  
  • Escalation may still be required: We can’t control how the recipient will respond. They may not take the warning and retaliate instead. If this is the case, you may have to consider escalating the problem to your supervisor or HR.  
  • Retaliation: Retaliation is a risk regardless of whether you do nothing or you do something. Be aware that sending The BeeMail may speed up a reaction.

While no option is risk free, including doing nothing, sending The BeeMail may disrupt the current dynamic between you and the other party. Start the process toward resolving the issue, and foster greater confidence to speak up for yourself and others.

The BeeMail Process

When you send The BeeMail, The Wolf and The Bee acts as your “representative” and sends a diplomatic and discreet email (The “BeeMail”) directly to your colleague without mentioning your name.

The Wolf and The Bee does not investigate claims. The intention of sending The BeeMail is to facilitate change in the interaction between both parties. By providing a warning, and not an accusation, The BeeMail process gives space to both parties to seek a resolution.

Additionally, the process provides coaching resources for both The BeeMail sender and recipient.

The BeeMail is only sent to the recipient specified. It is not sent to anyone else.

The BeeMail delivery confirmation is sent to the sender, and may be used as documentation if the sender decides to escalate the complaint.

THE BEEMAIL PROCESS – Step by Step
  1. Go to SEND THE BEEMAIL.
  2. Enter and verify the email address for the person who will recieve The BeeMail.
  3. Select the date and time you want The BeeMail sent.
    • The default is Friday at 4 PM ET to provide a weekend time buffer.
  4. Complete the process by making a $25 donation to The Wolf and The Bee.
  5. You will receive two emails from The Wolf and The Bee:
    • A donation reciept.
    • An email confirming The BeeMail has been scheduled. A link to The Sender Support Guide with next steps, tools and information you can use moving forward. Save this email in your documentation file.
  6. The BeeMail will be sent to the recipient on the designated day at the designated time.
    • A delivery confirmation email will be sent to you once that has been sent. Save this email in your documentation file.
  7. Follow-up:
    • Three weeks following your order, you will receive a feedback survey. (We are always working to improve our solutions).
SEE THE BEEMAIL – Example
SEND THE BEEMAIL NOW

Other Options

Sending The BeeMail may not be the right option for you. And if harassment continues, escalates, or you experience retaliation, you have additional options to consider.

The Wolf and The Bee Navigating Workplace Harassment User Guide is a free resource that includes resources, tools, and the risks and benefits of various options, including direct communication, reporting to a supervisor, and reporting to Human Resources.

ACCESS GUIDE NOW